Home of the Cool Experts

You've Got A Little Red On You

2004-09-27T10:38:00.000-05:00

Go see right now - Shaun of the Dead

It's fucking awesome. Period. It is the perfect combination of romance, gore and the funny. Plus 2 white guys walking down the street drunk singing White Lines. During several scenes I just sat there thinking, no, they are not going to, owww, they did, that was... awesome. It just opened in KC this last weekend so start checking your local little art house NOW! GO!

Cinematic Humanoid Underground Dwellers

2004-09-16T11:18:00.000-05:00

Read - CHUD.com

Cinematic Happenings Under Development, actually. It's movie news, only really interesting and fun. They aren't hollywood jerks or crappy entertainment reporters and they are pretty hilarious. They just like movies like you and me. Also they give away tons of crap, like DVDs but it's not like some sweepstakes, you just send them an email and usually they have you answer a stupid question, like if Godzilla and Rocky from Rocky Horror Picture Show got in a fight, who would win and why. I read it daily and so I always got the DL on what's coming out. Smarts, that's what it is.

Make like a tree and leave.

2004-09-14T14:18:00.000-05:00

Buy - Marty McFly Jr's ball cap (the "Special Addition Colorshifter")

You know the one I'm talking about. The crazy color changing one from Back To The Future Part II?

This one:

Here's a quote about the cap:

BTTF.com has obtained samples of the cap in our offices, and I must admit that these are very impressive. In a side-by-side comparison with the 1992 version originally made by Fantasma Boston, it's visually obvious that these 2004 curved-brim masterpieces are a much more screen-accurate replica than their '90s flat-brimmed counterparts.

Holy shit has it been a long time since I've seen any of the Back To The Future movies. Man, you know when you're young, and McDonalds was your absolute favorite food? That's how I was with movies and Back To The Future I, II, III. So sorry if you don't think that cap is as cool as I do. I gots one of those creeezzzy nostalgic shivers going on, and was hoping a few other people would too.

You Will Be Converted, There Is No Other Choice

2004-09-13T09:52:00.000-05:00

Watch (devour) - Firefly

Since Dave mentioned it, I might as well give the low down. Firefly is the most addictive, entertaining, wittiest and gutsiest show ever. There are some scenes that just make you say, "Dude, that was so badass." It centers around a group of outlaws in space about 500 years in the future but is shot and treated like a western. The characters are all very interesting and well developed, and it has some of the most quotable and fun dialogue ever written. Fans tend to hang out here and they were so persistent that the movie, Serenity, is done shooting and is scheduled to come out April 22, 2005.

Rip it. Watch it. Love it.

2004-09-12T16:26:00.000-05:00

Download - DVD Decrypter & AutoGK
Read - DVD to DivX/Xvid conversion guide

I can't count the number of times people have asked me how to create DivX or Xvid encoded movie files from DVDs that they own. At one time, this was a complicated process involving several application that were not exactly known for their user-friendliness. Not anymore.

It's this easy: rip, setup a few options, convert, done.

~~Copying movies that you rent~~ Backing up DVDs that you own has never been this easy.

John Connor?

2004-09-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

Watch - Terminator 3

No, I'm not even remotely kidding. The perfect movie for this time and era. Firefly-esque humor mixed with some bad-ass action and a very appropriate ending. If you've had second thoughts about watching this movie, stop thinking twice and go out and rent this sumbitch. You'll be happy if you did. Especially if you've seen the first or second movie of the trilogy.

Even if you don't like it for some reason, you'll only be out a five spot or so. Try it. The Governator begs it!

So there's this box . . .

2004-09-09T14:03:00.000-05:00

Buy - Best Tee Evar

Here's a little preview:

Make sure you check out the back of the shirt.

Not paying for software rocks the Casbah!

2004-09-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

Download - OpenOffice

So you don't really care to spend $400 on Microsoft Office either, eh? Well whatta you know. Seems a few programmers felt the same way, and OpenOffice was born. OO's suite of programs are similar to Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Access, in addition to having a powerful illustration proggy. But wait, I keep on skipping over the best part . . . the damn thing is FREE. FREE. FREE.

Lemme write this really big so you don't skip over it trying to get to the porn (just kidding):

FREE.

Pretty frickin' dope I'd say. If you want some more info on OpenOffice, you can click this link to check out a Flash intro to the product. Or if you'd rather just download the whole thing:

OPENOFFICE DIRECT DOWNLOAD LINK.

Drunkards Untie! (I know it says untie you jerks)

2004-09-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

Assemble this: A Cheap Target Bar Cabinet

I got one of these over the long weekend and it is sooooo cool. I would totally make out with it if it had a mouth. It is really pretty wood and not bad quality for a premade thing you have to assemble. It was a bitch to put together and the instructions were wrong but we did it (Warning: it is put together with Cam Locks which piss off many a carpenter). It holds glasses and lots of liquor and folds out so you can use it as a serving space. And the nice people at Target even put it in my car for me, even though I was bigger and probably stronger than the girl they had do it. So I felt kind of bad. But it is still a neato cabinet.

Care to work on your abs?

2004-09-04T16:39:00.000-05:00

Read - "Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About"

It's a little odd to read as it uses a lot of British slang, but I'll be damned if I won't have at least a two-pack if I read the entirety of that website. I only had a chance to read some, but 100% of that sample was Grade A, 100% fuckin' hillarious.

Round 2.

Read - bash.org

The first chat rooms on the internet existed in the form of IRC (internet relay chat). As it has existed since the 80s, quite a few really funny things have been said in the various rooms. The bash.org website is a collection of the best things said on IRC. Example:

Zybl0re: get up
Zybl0re: get on up
Zybl0re: get up
Zybl0re: get on up
phxl|paper: and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-< * nmp3bot dances :D|-< * nmp3bot dances :D/-< [SA]HatfulOfHollow: i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

Or how about this one:

t0rbad: so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder: i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder: WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder: IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder: AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder: NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder: NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder: IN FACT
BlackAdder: IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder: I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder: SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked by t0rbad ( )
t0rbad: so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError: right
heartless: Right.
r3v: right

If you'd rather gloss over the OK stuff and get right to the goodies, jump to the Top 100 Quotes portion of the site.

Makes You Think Its Thanksgiving...

2004-09-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

Eat it! - Better than Butter!

This was just too funny and although I would be afraid to buy it I think everyone out there should and then tell me what you think. Also, look at the ingredients... but which part?

Music to my Listening Holes

2004-09-01T09:57:00.000-05:00

Listen to - Coin Operated Boy by the Dresden Dolls

I don't know if everyone on the planet has already heard of them or not but I don't care, this is my show and tell. I heard that song for the first time this morning and I thought it was fabulous. I think you can even download the MP3 for free on their site. You're welcome.

Dave's Follow up - Download Girl Anachronism

They have a live version of "Coin Operated Boy" at the D-Dolls website, but why not download "Girl Anachronism" too while you're at it?

Added Mind Expansion

2004-08-31T11:04:00.000-05:00

Read - Scientific American

Being the nerd and lover of nerds that I am, Scientific American is the ultimate resource for up-to-date science info for the layman. It doesn't get bogged down with industry jargon and is generally understandable and entertaining. Also it makes you look sophisticated when you leave it next to your toilet when you are done. Happy Sciencing!

The real reason the internet and high-speed access exist!

2004-08-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

Watch - Commanding Heights: The Battle For The World Economy

Anybody find it funny that the United States is just over 200 years old, yet it is the most powerfull country in the world? Or have you ever wondered why the U.S. tries to push capitalism to other countries?

PBS put together the documentary linked above, then put all six hours of it online for free. In addition, it has cool shit like links to related content as you watch the series, DVD-ROM style.

Go check out the promo (56k / 300k) if you wanna get a sneak peak.

C'mon man, you know you wanna expand the ol' cranium. Plus you can pull off one of those intellectually slamming, "Good Will Hunting"-type moments you've always wanted to. How 'bout them apples?

P.S. Just FYI, you must have Quicktime to view all of the movies.

The Artiste In Me

2004-08-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

Back in the day, when I was studying photography in high school I had to do a project which asked me to pick a photographer to study. I wasn't really into any of the famous ones, Ansel Adams is way over-rated man. I did some searching in the art section of a book store and that lead me to:

Check out - Peter Beard

He is a photographer that is from America but spends most of his life in Africa. Obviously my obsession with Africa contributed to my liking him, but he also does really gritty work that I am attracted to. He also paints and writes on his photos with animal blood sometimes which I thought was really intriguing and still think is pretty ingenius. I love the collaging aspect of some of his work, using multiple photos, being messy and not perfect. No wonder I didn't graduate with an art degree.

One of the most useful things you could ever buy. Period.

2004-08-27T03:21:00.000-05:00

Buy - A cheap-ass fleece blanket

And no, I don't necessarily mean the one I linked to. That was the only place on the internet that I could find that had solid color fleece blankets as opposed to either baby-themed blankets or blankets with designs that made my retinas burn. But I digress.

Being warm is the shit. Everyone has had that experience when you're ready to sit your ass in front of the TV on a cold night for an extended period of time, and you wanna be gettin' cozy warm wit' some fly-ass honey (love you Scholle) you tryin' to mack on. So whachoo' goen' do fool? You look 'round, an' all you gots iz som jank-ass pilluhs yo ol' roo-mate left aftuh they moved theuh ass out. Yo' game be broke son.

In addition to its inherent "honey 'ttractant", it's also the favorite companion of friends who get too wasted and crash on your couch. I promise you, the next morning, your coolness will be unquestioned by said friends.

I shall rant no more.

Since I know you're foaming at the mouth to buy one of the damn things now, lemme let you in on a little secret:

THEY'RE LIKE $8 @ TARGET. That much coolness for so little should be made illegal.

Baby Mama Drama

2004-08-26T09:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess if this blog is Dave's baby, then I am the baby mama. I have been graciously invited to be the chick perspective on cool, and probably TV and pop culture stuffs. Why me? Most likely because I will provide the least chicky perspective of any woman. But I digress, and on with the coolness:

Watch this - Mythbusters

One of the best shows ever, informational, funny and it has hot guys! Jamie and Adam provide answers to many of life's most important questions such as: how hard is it to accidentally explode a toilet and how much fun would it be to get drunk in a police station under police supervision.

Also, I would like to agree with Dave on the Garden State front. I actually saw it and I was one of the people who liked it before it was cool. Eat that! But truly, it is a movie made for folks in their 20's and what that means in the way of loss, love, uniqueness and home. Only not as sentimental as she makes it sound.

Quick update before bedtime

2004-08-25T04:52:00.000-05:00

Music - "Darlin' Ukelele" by Jolie Holland

Best theramin solo since "Good Vibrations". Very eerie to boot, but not in that cheesy "Walgreen's Halloween candy bowl that has a fake rubber skeleton hand that flips around and says 'MUWAHAHAHA' when you put your hand in the bowl" sort of way.

READ THIS OR I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN

2004-08-25T02:55:00.000-05:00

Ok, not really, but you should read it anyways.

This is the inagural post of what I hope becomes a daily ritual: telling people what I think they need to buy/get/do, because to me, that thing is cool and/or totally awesome. What credentials do I have to do such a thing? None. Just try coming back a few times, read the posts, and be ready for the "+3 to coolness" if you do as suggested.

Today:

Listen to - "Oh, Inverted World" by The Shins.

This album is the best COMPLETE fucking album I've heard in a really long time. Eleven tracks of happy/sad/confused pop goodness. And I use the word "pop" loosely. This ain't no Titney Spears. The best way I could describe The Shins would be to call them a lighter, more acoustic version of Weezer. With that said, if you decide not to check out the whole album, then just get on Kazaa, or whatever program you use to steal music, and check out the song "New Slang" from the album.

So now you're asking yourself, "SO WHAT? How in the HELL does this increase my coolness factor?!" That song that I mentioned above ("New Slang") just happens to be on the Garden State soundtrack, along with another track from the album ("Caring Is Creepy"). Which leads me too . . .

Watch - Garden State

I haven't even watched this movie yet, and I can tell you without a doubt that this will be one of those movies that you can gloat about having watched it "before it got big". Don't believe me? The Tomatometer reading of 88% sez I'm right. Not to mention the very intriguing trailers and the fact that it is the debut film written/directed/starring the very funny Zach Braff of Scrubs fame.

That's all I've got for now. Go check out that stuff and show people how cool and/or totally awesome you are . . .